Mother-in-law

I find there is nothing new to learn
from their arrogance and their stories of the past refusal to admit the truth of anything
accept change, feeding the crows with balls of rice taken from her plate before she eats the first mouth lurching unsteadily into the garden staggering oil pebbles
the golden orioles flyaway, the crows pursue.

“It is for Swami,” she says
“That is what Yogaswami has told.
You people all are gulping down your food
first before thinking of the gods;
it is our custom to give the first mouth to the gods the crows are the vahanam of Sank” she says

The crows flap about with waiting wings,
To swoop down with raucous beaks
picking at god-food. It is the daily dana.
Who am I to forbid the gods to feed at my pots and pans?

“Look the crows are coming right into the kitchen,” I say.
“Yes, it is so every day now,” the maidservant says. “Next time I will eat all. If you don’t want,
Then I won’t give.”

The stray dog sniffs at the food sometimes, she
comes in muttring, ‘No fish, no meat so even
dog will not eat.”
She is pure vegetarian, won’t touch
Christian meat, egg, fish:
“You all are flesh eaters,” she says with disdain. “Achchi, do not call us flesh eaters,” says the grand
daughter.

“Flesh eaters? I said flesh eaters? Those are
people-who ar eating human flesh no
InAfrica they are called cannibals.
I did not say. Ohfright then I am eating
eating all day fish and meat
and purging, purging.” Raises her voice
becomes deaf to rationale. “Begging bowl !
Beggars. I am old dog. No use to anybody,
Can’t scrap a coconut halfeven.
Yes, yes., they said let them keep her now
now it is his turn. They said first
you must ask permission from the lady of the house. It is the son’s duty to look after the mother.
It is not the duty ofthe son-in-law.
If you all can’t keep, put me in the
naki madam. I will go there, very good, very good; they said wait and see, in six weeks
they will chase her away.” chuckles with
ironic glee. that the prophecy, has not been
fulfilled does not move her one whit.

Her fingers flick sweetness to the tongue,
her lips pucker with little gasps at chillie,
her hands move over her food with the delicacy
of fingers tracing alponas and kolam:
on the threshold oilier life the barren
patch before the breaking structure of her house patterns that weave through the famine of herage into gnarled branches and withered leaves
the grains going awry, the magic of ritual
dispersed so that new rains come,
no new harvests begin,
and the scarecrows in the starving fields
cry with toothless mouths to the parching wind.
The purificatory rites she is reluctant to perforn. curving palm over forehead and broat to feel
fire where there is only ice.
“Fever 1 have today,” she says “I won’t take bath today,
you all are very clean. Like Brahmins.
Your servant maid, niso, is clean like lady of the house
very sensitive no! Sometimes cleaner than house people .
I am like a piece of stinking dried fish, kunu malu.”
Stings her haggard flesh with her own vituperation still the rubies like pomegranate seeds split
her eat lobes, the skin now like brown kahata;
and the brilliant in her right nostril glitters
a vanishing beam of lost firefly.

“Use coconut husk to scrub me,” she says
“but you will not make my skin white.”
She makes profound statements
about the English language to Miyuki:
“English is the greatest language in the world, everybody in the world know Engtish
Even in Africa’ they al speak English no?”

“Which country you are from?” she continues: “Japan?Ah! In Japan there is great pagoda.
Did you know Toya Menka Kaisha?
Where are you studying? You want to know
who am I? I am their father’s
mother,” she says pointing to the grandchildren. “My son luv marriage.
They met in University.
My son in England also
luv marriage,” pointing to a photograph
of her grandchildren she says with pride:
“Just like England children no?”

“Old people”, She says, “we are old people,
we are from Jaffna. We are from the village.
We have to come here to learn manners.
Etiquette. We criticize everything .
We never say thank you. We are only saying
too much uppu in that and this.
We do not praise.”
Her eyes sparkle with irony
flicks us off like dust of her toes.

Author Jean Arasanayagam

Summary and Analysis

“You people are all gulping down your food,
first before thinking of the gods,
it is our custom to give the first mouth to the gods
the crows are the “vahanam of Sani” she says.”
The mythical belief rooted in the old woman
“Look the crows are coming right into the kitchen.”
The mother-in-law’s traditional vegetarian food style does not please the young daughterin-law and her attitude towards non vegetarians treating them as ‘flesh eaters.’
“You are all flesh eaters,” she says with disdain.

The mother-in-law’s attitude towards ‘flesh eaters’ reflecting her hatred for such people.
“Flesh eaters. I, said flesh eaters?” Those are people who eating human flesh no. In
Africa they are called cannibals.”
“Beggars, I am old dog. No use to anybody.”
“If you all can’t keep, put me in the naki madama, I will go there very good, very good” and
her young family members treating her words as a joke.
… wait and see, in six weeks.
They will chase her away,” chuckles with ironic glee…”
“They said wait and see, in six weeks
they will chase her away,” chuckles with
ironic glee, that the prophesy has not been
fulfilled does not move to her on whit.”

“… taken from her plate before she eats the first mouth,
lurching unsteadily into the garden staggering on the pebbles,
the golden orioles fly away, the crows pursue.”
She takes pleasure in condemning other cultures
“You people are all gulping down your food,
first before thinking of the gods,
it is our custom to give the first mouth to the gods
the crows are the “vahanam of Sani” she says.”

The mythical belief rooted in the old woman
“Look the crows are coming right into the kitchen.”
“You are all flesh eaters,” she says with disdain.
“Flesh eaters. I, said flesh eaters?”
Those are people who eating human flesh no. In
Africa they are called cannibals.”
“Beggars, I am old dog. No use to anybody.”
… wait and see, in six weeks.
They will chase her away,” chuckles with ironic glee…”

SUBJECT-MATTER: The conflict between mother in law and daughter n law
MAIN THEME: cultural conflict
OTHER THEMES: Lack of cross-cultural understanding
Conventional behavior and attitudes
The usual conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

INTRODUCTION

Mother in Law by Jean Arasanayagam shows the conflict between the daughter in Law and the mother in Law. It is bilateral. In addition to the traditional conflict there is also cultural conflict as the mother in Law is Sri Lankan whereas the daughter in Law is an English woman. The subject- matter is Arasanayagam’s mother’s behavior. The poem is based on cultural differences. The poem consists of appropriate words and Sri Lankan rituals. The language is simple and conversational.

LITERARY STUDY

In this poem, ‘Mother-in-law,’ by Jean Arasanayagam unveils the traditions and behavior patterns prevalent in the Hindu Society and how the grandmother dislikes the behavior patterns of the daughter in law and her daughter who are wholly westernized. The poet emphasizes the old woman’s mentality and the young woman’s attitude towards the
grandmother’s manners and culture. The mother-in-law’s traditional vegetarian food style does not please the young daughter-in-law and her daughter and her attitude towards non vegetarians treating them as ‘flesh eaters.

The mother-in-law self pitying unable to continue her argument further compels them to send her to a ‘Home for the Aged.’”If you all can’t keep, put me in the naki madama, I will go there very good, very good.” Her young family members treat her words as a joke. In spite of her being old, feeble and helpless the old mother-in-law tries to dominate the whole family. It is emphasized in logical manner and her attempt to bring before the readers the usual conflict between an old-mother-in-law and a young daughter-in-law, alien and indifferent to old Hindu traditions.

The poet has specifically emphasizes the old woman’s mentality and the young woman’s
attitude towards mythical belief rooted in her mother-in-law in an ironic manner.
“Look the crows are coming right into the kitchen.”

The mother-in-law’s traditional vegetarian food style does not please the young daughterin-law and her attitude towards non vegetarians treating them as ‘flesh eaters.’ Jean Arasanayagam has revealed clearly and in picturesque manner, the rooted beliefs and social behaviour patterns and the insincerity in modern perceptions.

In spite of her being old, feeble and helpless the old mother-in-law trying to dominate the whole family is emphasised in logical manner and her attempt to bring before the readers the usual conflict between an old-mother-in-law and a young daughter-in-law, alien and indifferent to old Hindu traditions.

The mother-in-law’s relentless ambition to dominate the entire family by the power of her words. The poet, depicting clearly and descriptively the outcome of evil attitudes and false superiority in effective and dramatic manner. The poet’s diction style, simple and direct and appropriate wording keeping the images created whimsically alive.

Jean Arasanayagam has revealed clearly and in picturesque manner, the rooted beliefs and social behaviour patterns and the insincerity in modern perceptions. In spite of her being old, feeble and helpless the old mother-in-law trying to dominate the whole family is emphasised in logical manner and her attempt to bring before the readers the usual
conflict between an old-mother-in-law and a young daughter-in-law, alien and indifferent to old Hindu traditions. The mother-in-law’s relentless ambition to dominate the entire family by the power of her words. The poet, depicting clearly and descriptively the outcome of evil attitudes and false superiority in effective and dramatic manner.